Let me repeat myself. The FBI is saying Wikipedia’s FBI entry should not have the FBI Seal in it. The FBI is citing (Badly) a law regarding fraudulent use of insignia. Wikipedia very intelligently pointed out that the article is only for informational purposes, and not for fraud, and that Encyclopedia Britannica’s entry on the FBI has the seal, as well. It looks like the FBI is being hard-headed about this, and it may even reach court.
So if you have a Blog, I suggest you mention this article, and specifically note that:
THIS AGENCY
is bullying THIS ONLINE ENCYCLOPEDIA
And you think that it sucks.
This villain supports Wikipedia fully in this. I use the site often to look up things. And having access to a few official seals can be very useful. Muhuhahahahahaha!!!!
(Note: if the FBI Seal depicted is hotlinked: if it does not appear in this article, then Wikipedia has either relented, or lost the court case.)
Ladies and Gentlemen, May I direct your attention to a philosophical miracle unfolding right under your very noses! Are you feeling unappreciated? Out of sorts? Are you no longer in phase with your friends, family, or perhaps the entire society?
Then you need a change. A transformation. A chrysalis with which to surround yourself in order to change you from a misfit caterpillar into a beautiful but ferocious Death’s-Head Moth.
Yes, you too can become a Supervillain. You can embrace the evil and rage that you know is in your heart and turn it outward in a beam of creativity that withers your enemies like grapes in a raisin factory.
I give you… Overlord’s 30 Days of Evil! Overlord has chosen to gift those who are interested with a simple, 30-step program to transmogrify yourself into the Supervillain you know you were born to be. She covers all the basics, From Self-definition and discovery, to attire, resisting negative peer pressure, and More!
So surf over and start your change now! Overlord’s 30 Days of Evil is nearly half over, so catch up or the guy down the block will build a doomsday device before you do!
(This has been a message from the Secret Association of Villainous Endeavors. S.A.V.E. endorses the work of Overlord so long as it is evil. Any good that comes out of this product is merely coincidental)
A key factor to being a supervillain is having a grand persona. This can be easy or hard, depending on how grand, and how well-defined your persona is. For example, This so-called “Barefoot Bandit” will have it rough. Stealing planes is hard, and I can only assume that doing it barefoot is much more difficult. The Press has given this man a persona that will be tough to live up to.
But fear not, if you are similarly saddled with a persona larger than you can live up to, you can always blame the Press for giving you the name, or fall back on technicalities. For example, imagine my chagrin the first time someone called me out when I was having issues with my programs. “LOL, aren’t you the Computer King?” the cretin basically said. My current defense to this is that a computer is specifically the hardware of a machine, whereas its software can have problems and issues that are beyond my normal purview. Now I can deflect such sophomoric attempts to lower my status without having to stoop to satellite-guided laser arrays, as I had to back then. LOL, indeed.
Take the story with a grain of salt, though. Because it claims that the second robbery involved the woman disguised in a burqa. Yes, I said a burqa. How the hell can they tell that it’s the same woman? Maybe she took off the veil at the end and showed her cat mask. It’s what a supervillain would do.
Sure, the article concentrates a little too much on good acts and heroism, but it introduces the concept of “Moral Transformation”, and indicates that even writing fiction about yourself doing good or evil actions can affect your strength and efficacy. The best part is when they say that the people writing evil were the strongest.
So Join the Forces of Villainy. Evil Makes You Strong.
Do you crave brains? Do you have a foul body odor from decomposing flesh? Is your tan line different shades of putrid green? Well, if you live are in the Seattle area you might want to come on down to the Zombie Walk on the 4th of July! It’s a totally dead scene, catering to undead of all walks of life death, from the everyday shambling horror to the partying son-of-a-lich. Follow the link, get your ghoulish duds ready, and prepare for the time of your unlife!
I have found it. No Super villain could have come up with a more simple, yet in-your-face way of collecting raw hatred than the site I have found. Having problems? Angry with someone? Pissed at the world? Well, here’s what you can do.
Rant about it. Go to Project RANT and spew your acidic hatred on their contact page, or call their hot-line, or even rant on craigslist, because they use it as a resource. They collect the rants (And presumably the hatred that comes with them, since you always feel better after a good rant; the hate has to go somewhere…) and post them, or, if your rant pleases whatever dark gods they worship, make them into videos. Angry videos. To spread your rage more effectively across the world.
Such a good plan. Too bad they came up with it before I could. Here’s an example to warm your heart… I mean boil your blood.
And here I thought things like this didn’t happen anymore. With modern security systems and watchful guards a dime a dozen, it has to take a special kind of thief to get away with this. The priceless art black market must still be alive and well. Makes me wonder who pays for stolen art anymore.
But not for long. A moment later I consider how easy it would be to cash in on well-made counterfeits of the pictures in question, if you knew which pictures were going to be stolen. I’ve gotta get a time traveler on my payroll.
So all of us SuperVillains don’t look so silly in wanting to have moon bases. They’re Self-Powering! How’s that for Green Thinking, You whiny, Eco-loving, tree-hugging superheroes! Sure, the Hall of Justice is powered by a treadmill where the Flash warms up every morning, but the combination of Lunar Lightning and Solar power could make a moon base with a surplus of power! So giant Robots are no longer out of the question, and you can even have an extra fridge if you want to keep leftovers. Never before has Moon Real Estate been worth so much! Man, if I wasn’t already in negotiations on an underground complex…..
I spent some time looking around at some of our neighbor universes, and I found a book of quotations from a rather shrewd villainess named Evilly Dickenson. I find her quotes much more palatable than this world’s version, Emily. Behold the Quotational Dominance!
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After great pain, a formal feeling comes. The Nerves sit ceremonious, like tombs. Within these tombs lie the truth. Apply more pain, and the truth will rise like dust from these tombs.
—–
Evil is not caused. It is.
—-
Dogs are better than human beings because they know but do not tell. That’s why I trust Dog/Human hybrids for Henchmen.
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Dying is a wild night and a new road. Causing Death is a busy night and a new grave.
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Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. Consuming it heartily is my goal.
—–
Finite to fail, but infinite the punishment of those who fail ME.
—-
Dwell in possibility , but perform regular strafing runs over Improbability .
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If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry. Or some superhero bounced a laser back at me.
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Whenever a thing is done for the first time, it releases a little demon. When I can control those demons, I shall rule the universe!
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It is better to be the hammer than the anvil. But if you can be the canon, you have them both beat.
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My friends are my estate. And my enemies are my foundation. Well, they’re IN my foundation…
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Old age comes on suddenly, and not gradually as is thought. So I need that Tachyon Generator finished NOW, so I can shoot him before he claims me.
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There is no Frigate like a book to take us lands away nor any coursers like a page of prancing Poetry. And a phone book applied to the knees can loosen the tightest tongue.
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