Greetings!
It is with a heavy heart that I make the announcement within, but I find it necessary to let people know what is blindingly obvious.
Thank you, my listener army, and may you follow me to my next endeavor.
In a bold step towards the mythical ” sharks with frickin lasers on their heads”, Ukraine has trained a few killer dolphins to help them with their Navy. Unfortunately the Dolphins may have escaped in search of mates. They should have known that the first thing sailors do when they get a chance is chase women. Good work on the villainous hench-dolphins, bad work on the containment of them.
Greetings, my faithful!
In case you didn’t know, it’s Chinese New Year! And guess what year it is? Oh, yes, it’s the Year of the Snake! And it’s 2013??? A better year for villainy than any other I’ve seen in recent history. So, watch out, villainy is afoot!!!
Darkness falls in the dome…
A cloud rises in the distance…
I give them a week’s grace period (because I’m magnanimous like that) and nothing. No plague, no earthquake, no earth-shattering kaboom, no John Cusack driving cross country in a physics-defying limo. Those damned Mayans cheated me out of an apocalypse. You know, I’m starting to think that those guys by the highway selling oranges as a cover job while dealing in low-budget Doomsdays (“on the down-low” as they said) weren’t really Mayans. Well, I’ll have the last laugh when the money I gave them changes back into frogs. Poisonous frogs. With Smallpox.
Well, If you want an apocalypse done right, I guess you have to do it yourself.
So, the third Batman movie came out, and some nutjob goes into a theater in Colorado and Shoots the place up. 12 or so deaths, 38 injuries and 1 captured nutjob later, and the “Supervillain” term is on the tip of people’s tongues, just waiting to point itself at the criminal. I swear, if anybody I know calls this lowlife a Supervillain I’m going to lose it. The suspect that has been caught had a firearm on him, and made comments about explosives, prompting the police department to evacuate his apartment building. I’m sure this crackpot has grand delusions that he is making the police dance to his tune, when he’s just wasting their time and taxpayer’s money if there’s no actual bombs involved. There was very little Supervillainous about the attack, and anyone equating this mini-terrorism with Supervillainy is sadly ignorant of what Supervillainy is.
Not to belabor the point, but I will point out some differences, so you, my Listener Army, can explain to the uninitiated why James Holmes, the suspected shooter is NOT a Supervillain.
1. He started shooting during a part of the movie that led a few people to believe it was part of the movie. A Supervillain would have made sure to start a plot insuch a way that NOBODY is mistaken that something special is going on, and WHO is doing it.
2. He wore a gas mask, and used either smoke bombs or tear gas before shooting. A Supervillain would have used something thatwould not require them to alter their costume by adding a gas mask, or send in henchmen in gas masks to handle the preliminary work, then stroll in after the gas is no longer effective.
3. He used “an AK-type rifle”, a shotfun and handguns. A Supervillain doesn’t lower themselves to using normal weapons. Or they at least disguise them as lasers, phasers, or disintegration rays.
4. There was no benefit in shooting people at random in a movie. A Supervillain always, ALWAYS has a point to their plans. I’m sure this loony has some excuse for his actions, but believe me it won’t be adequate. It changes no laws, proves no point, and shows no hidden truth for a lone gunman to be able to, duh, go somewhere random and use his guns.
5. No Costume, No Theme, No Villain Identity, I won’t even go into how this separates this guy from a real Supervillain. It’s obvious. As King Oblivion, PHD said in his first book, Hate You Forever, WAGIYAN: Without a Great Identity, You Are NOTHING!
That’s all I’ll go into for now. Just point out those 5 points, and you’ll be able to tear down anyone’s assertion that the Batman Shootist is anything like a Supervillain.
Oooh, Losers like this make it bad for us REAL Supervillains. They make me so mad…
So, My Listener Army, I bet some of you forgot that Villainy has co-opted May 1st in honor of ME.
Well, I didn’t forget, and I don’t know if it’s professional Courtesy or exposure to Hypno-Hop, but the Consortium of Genius and The Funny Music Project seem to have the whole Concentrated Evil thing down, for a mere year after the first one, they have launched a not only an Evil song, but an evil Music Video to go along with it. So go enjoy They Said I was MAD today, and rest assured that you have concentrated evil in your system somewhere.
Song: http://www.thefump.com/fump.php?id=1547
Video: http://youtu.be/eIxw42kyyts
Consortium of Genius: http://www.consortiumofgenius.com
So, my Faithful Followers, It is time to release my Hypnotic Rap Video o the world, and when the entranced masses come flooding to the site to see what commands I have for them, you can say that you were a part of the Listener Army BEFORE it was cool…
Or maybe you shouldn’t, because that would make you sound like a jerk.
But back to the Point, BEHOLD, the Hypno-Hop!
I am still here. Don’t let my absence lull you into a false sense of security. I Awaken from creative hibernation with a thirst for evil… Beware, you may be my next target…
